I'm thinking about my sweet Neal tonight. Every night, he wants to do little things before bed: play wild horsie (where he lassos me with an old leather skinny belt-turned-lasso), put his bridle on his rocking horse, play baseball, occasionally watch a little show, something . . . We either get him ready for bed before, and he promises to be happy and go straight to bed after, or he promises to be so happy and get ready for bed and go right down after. But, about 75% of the time he whines and cries when it comes down to it. So, he refuses to do what he said he would, and I have to deal with getting him to do it when he's mad which takes sooooooo long. I have been pretty good at staying calm, even though it's often just on the outside - I feel proud of being able to control my frustration!! It just drives me crazy because instead of putting him to bed on time, I let him do a couple of extra fun things that takes some extra time AND I have to take lots of extra time to actually get him down for the night, and then it's an hour after I could have had him down, and I lose that hour of my night! Then I think, why did I do this?!
I just don't allow enough time for bedtime to be relaxed and calm. It's hard since I ideally like to get him down at 6:30 since he doesn't take naps anymore and wakes up between 6 or 7 no matter when I put him down. So, if we wait for Jonathan to get home for dinner, there just isn't a lot of time for dinner, playing with Daddy, and bedtime!
But I just hate ending the day with a fight. He gets so upset, and I want bedtime to be a sweet time to connect and reflect on our day together. I want more of the sweet moments that happen so often throughout our days . . . He is constantly telling me, "Mom, I sure do love you!" or "Isn't this so fun to be together?" and "You're the best mom ever!". And then goes to bed wailing and upset. It breaks my heart.
I know what I need to do - I need to (re)establish a routine for Neal. Since coming to Utah for the entire month of December last year, we have been traveling and moving and traveling more (often with prolonged stays). I have let things slide since I was adapting to different living situations all the time . . . there were cousins to play with who go to bed much later than him, or I didn't feel like leaving the socializing or relaxing to put him down . . .So when I can honestly reflect and see that I (by my laziness or by allowing him to) change what happens between the time I say it's time to start getting ready for bed and when he's actually in bed, I take the blame. He's 3. He needs me to set the structure so he has clear expectations. I feel bad when I see him sad and mad at bedtime, because I know that when I am consistent, he is so much more calm and happier!! It takes a little while to adjust, but I know from past experience with him that it will change his temperament and reactions to the things I say. I just have to be willing to put in the effort! And I am now . . . I'm ready! I just want to know that I've done my best for him so that if he is upset, I can know that I did everything I could, and sometimes he will just act like he's 3 :)
Here are just a few pics of my handsome, smiley boy:
Posing with his snowcone at Jonathan's cousin's wedding reception/pool party. I really wish you could see that he was swimming in his tighty whities lol!
I really love this boy! I need to show it more by giving him what he needs, and not always what he wants!
I just don't allow enough time for bedtime to be relaxed and calm. It's hard since I ideally like to get him down at 6:30 since he doesn't take naps anymore and wakes up between 6 or 7 no matter when I put him down. So, if we wait for Jonathan to get home for dinner, there just isn't a lot of time for dinner, playing with Daddy, and bedtime!
But I just hate ending the day with a fight. He gets so upset, and I want bedtime to be a sweet time to connect and reflect on our day together. I want more of the sweet moments that happen so often throughout our days . . . He is constantly telling me, "Mom, I sure do love you!" or "Isn't this so fun to be together?" and "You're the best mom ever!". And then goes to bed wailing and upset. It breaks my heart.
I know what I need to do - I need to (re)establish a routine for Neal. Since coming to Utah for the entire month of December last year, we have been traveling and moving and traveling more (often with prolonged stays). I have let things slide since I was adapting to different living situations all the time . . . there were cousins to play with who go to bed much later than him, or I didn't feel like leaving the socializing or relaxing to put him down . . .So when I can honestly reflect and see that I (by my laziness or by allowing him to) change what happens between the time I say it's time to start getting ready for bed and when he's actually in bed, I take the blame. He's 3. He needs me to set the structure so he has clear expectations. I feel bad when I see him sad and mad at bedtime, because I know that when I am consistent, he is so much more calm and happier!! It takes a little while to adjust, but I know from past experience with him that it will change his temperament and reactions to the things I say. I just have to be willing to put in the effort! And I am now . . . I'm ready! I just want to know that I've done my best for him so that if he is upset, I can know that I did everything I could, and sometimes he will just act like he's 3 :)
Here are just a few pics of my handsome, smiley boy:
Posing with his snowcone at Jonathan's cousin's wedding reception/pool party. I really wish you could see that he was swimming in his tighty whities lol!
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| Sleepover with Mommy while Jon was out of town (on his first of 5-6 trips in the month) |
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| The other morning, Neal said he was chasing a fly in the bathroom. Fine, whatever. A few minutes later, I hear a loud thud and he comes out and says, "Mommy! I got the fly with my hand!" In disbelief, I go in, and sure enough, there is a dead fly on the floor. He says, pointing, "First it landed there on the wall, and then it landed on the potty, and then on the sink, and then on the door, and I smacked him!" Wow. Who can smack a fly with his bare hand?! Not me (not that I'd want to, ew!). Here he is pointing to his success. |
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3 comments:
So cute!! I just love your kids. =) This reminded me that Matt used to catch flies, too! Must be something that super-athletic kids can do. =)
David read this earlier today and told me I had to read this. I needed to know that someone else was going through this too. Sometimes its Trevor acting like the 3 yo sometimes it's me! But oh boy I feel you on this and I m glad you shared. Love you lizzard!
Liz! Congratulations on re-entering the blogging world :)
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